romance
I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships and romance. How it changes (romance) as the relationship progresses. I thought about all of the sweet things my husband did after we were first married…he would swing by my work and leave cards in my car, or leave a rose and a note on the bed for me. For our very first Valentines day he made me a card….using the office supplies he had available to him at work. I tell you people, that valentine is saved and is one of the most treasured items my husband has given me, I was so touched by his efforts to create a card…for ME!
Eventually the newness and spark of our relationship changed to familiarity and comfort, those same romantic gestures were simply not a priority anymore. I think this is the way it is supposed to be, I don’t believe that initial spark is what will sustain a relationship for 50 years. I brought this subject up last week at a dinner I had with some girlfriends- we all had been married around 10ish years, so I wanted to see what they thought on the subject.
They all agreed, the spark doesn’t last. What we find romantic today is not the same thing we found romantic 10 years ago. One woman said to her it’s romantic when we husband brings home ice-cream after a late meeting. Most of the women agreed that when (and if) their husbands brought home flowers their first reaction would be to consider the amount of money he had spent on them!
Things change- and for the better I might add. 11 1/2 years into my marriage I’ll tell you what warms my heart;
- knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that my husband will always be faithful to me
- when he brings home an Oreo Sonic Blast to share after a late meeting and eats around the whipped cream to save it for me.
- Hands down, nothing is more romantic than watching him mess around in a dad way with our kids
- or like last week, when he came to me and said he thought we needed a night alone without the kids to regroup and talk about our goals for the future
- watching the Simpsons and eating cherry turnovers together
What about you, has the romance in your marriage changed? What are some things you do to be romantic?
August 20th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
tres sweet…you are still sentimental. Kinda nice after 11.5 yrs, don’t you think?
August 20th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Each year is better than the one before. I am amazed that I’m still learning new things about Bob. I find that romance and passion ebbs and flows with the patterns of our lives. I don’t think I would have the energy to relive the chaotic first months of my relationship with Bob. I enjoy the sweet peace that comes with knowing him better than he knows himself, of knowing how much he loves me and treasures me. I’ll take the comfort and intimacy of my marriage to day over anything we’ve experienced in the past. I also find things like him doing chores and playing with the kids very attractive. Not because I like to watch him work, but because he is so considerate of me and my needs.
August 20th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
I have only had him give me flowers once. Even after me begging for a little more romance lol. But seeing him do the dishes is incredibly romantic, just because he cares enough to give me a break from them. Romance comes in many shades
August 20th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
I think society and movies do us all a disadvantage in showing only one form of romance, we grow up programmed to see only certain behaviors as romantic. with those attitudes we end up missing the subtle and more meaningful gestures.
August 22nd, 2009 at 11:08 am
It makes me so glad to know that I am not the only one who is thinking of money when my husband brings flowers home! I always feel unappreciative because I am so cheap. It means much more to me when he does something that doesn’t cost money.