Lately I have had a lot of side work, which is always nice.  But, it has meant the need to seriously structure my time.  Today while showering the thought occurred to me that I have been running faster than was good for me.  I thought of a few ways to slow down, giving myself permission to drop one project off my list for today.  I later mentioned to my husband how I’ve been so good about sticking to my schedules, but that I was starting to feel like I needed to slow down.  I’ve been nursing a cold for a few days now too, which didn’t help matters.

Well, as the day progressed I found myself stranded at a friends house with a van that wouldn’t start!  After a jump didn’t work, I had to call a tow truck (i love my insurance company!).  Another girl friend took my two-year old and me home.  I had to laugh at all of it…The universe conspired to make sure I slowed down and took a day off!

When the universe hands you a “mental health day”, you take it!   I threw the doors wide and let the cool wet breeze fill my home!  I had the husband bring home dinner and I had a nice evening of not doing anything that was on my list.  Hoping to get the van back tomorrow and will try to start running a little slower.

I mentioned before that I was taking a writing workshop-Mothers Who Write, and I am really enjoying it (it’s better than therapy!).  Both Deborah and Amy are fantastic and I have met some amazing women!  We’re having a reading May 12 in Scottsdale that is open to the public if anyone is interested (yes, I designed the flyer)…

Here is the poem I wrote for last weeks class….

Sixteen Years Ago

(this is the ONLY photo that was ever taken of my high school graduation)

She stood at the edge looking down
mapping what came next
afraid to trust, afraid to fall
breathing deep to find the calm

Stop, I tell her
she does not hear
be still, I say
she moves forward forgetting to pause
pieces of herself dropped,
lost along the way

Winding her path to now
finding the pieces long abandoned
rediscovering  joys
learning to be still

For if she had paused
if she had stopped
she wouldn’t be me

Last week I took a quick trip to SAS for some elastic and found this 3/8 of a yard Amy Butler print.  For $1.50 I took it home and turned it into a pillow.  You can’t tell from the pic, but I trimmed it in brown piping to match the couch.  This is the first time I’ve made a pillow for my living room….and, I really really love it!

I keep pinning star quilts on pinterest, I really like the look of the quilted 8 point star.  I googled around and kept finding tutorials for the wonky star- which I didn’t want, I wanted a true star.  I Finally learned it was called a Saw Toothed Star, after a little bit of math I cut and stitched one up.

I’ll be listing it in the shop today or tomorrow for $8, unless you email me now and tell me you want it.  I found the star to be quick to stitch up and am thinking about tackling a throw quilt….after I finish the baby’s quilt (the one I’ve been working on for almost 2 years now!).

On an unrelated note, I overheard my kids discussing the difference between a fart and a toot this morning before school.  There were sound effects.  It was hilarious!!

Last night I sat at the computer looking through old family slides from the 60′s thru the early 80′s.  I was looking for images of my father around the age of 8, I wanted to compare them to images of my son.  I decided while he is built like a Clark his face is not that of a Clark, he looks like his father, a Hales.

The images are of my family- a part of my past, but they are just that- images, on a screen.  Snatches of time, the poignancy of the moments they were taken is gone.  Faded memories in the back of someones mind.  I scrolled through images of my grandmother at my age, 34, holding her 6th (and last) child-my father-in her arms. Through photos of my Great Grandma (who has been gone nearly 20 years now) standing on the Israeli shores with her bright yellow tour bag.  It was nice to see her face after so many years, mixed in with photos of relatives I don’t know.

These images reminded me that it was only a matter of time before my life and my photos became images on a screen for future generations.  What seems so vital, so important and urgent in my life today will quickly fade into the recesses of the past.  It was a gentle reminder to keep life in perspective.  I just need to do my best each day and not take myself or my “problems” to seriously.  Life is short and this existence I call my own is just one very small moment in a very long time line of human experience.

I like when life hands me  these little lessons, wrapped gently in the folds of my day.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not going anywhere deep with that title.

I recently started a new skin care “regime”, that makes it sound so serious- as if I am really careful and regimented with how I treat my face- I’m not.  My motto with skin care has always been whatever is cheap at the drug store followed by religious use of moisturizer (again, whatever was cheapest at the drugstore).  Here is what I have been doing nightly…..

From somewhere I received a free sample of Ponds wet cleansing cloths.  They sat unused under my bathroom sink for months.  I had tried those wipe off cloths before and hated the sticky feeling that was left on my skin.  When I finally pulled these out I feel in love!  The cleaned ALL of my makeup off, they work really well on liquid eyeliner.  The best part was NO sticky residue.  My face is damp after using them, but once it dries it feels clean- no over drying either.  Added bonus, less than $5 for a months supply at Target!

I found a pin on pinterest for how to make your own astringent (something I haven’t used since high school), but the pinner promised it would shrink pore size and clean out icky black heads (now, who is above that? Not me!).  So I gave it a try.  I use 2 parts water to 1 part cider, I keep it in a mason jar and use a cotton ball in my face.  It stinks, it stinks a lot.  It stinks a little less after it dries, I try to be considerate of my bedfellow and make sure it’s dry before I climb into bed.

After a few days of doing this I noticed my skin would be really dry in the morning and my regular drugstore moisturizer wasn’t cutting it anymore.  I remembered when my mother was extolling the virtues of coconut oil to me a few years ago she suggested using it as a moisturizer, so I pulled some out and tried it.  It WORKS, I use a very very small amount (akin to 1/8tsp).  I let it absorb into the skin before I put on any makeup, and oh how my makeup looks even better on my skin now!  The only downside to using coconut oil as a moisturizer is that it does not have SPF in it…which is vital here in the land of the infernal sun.  My foundation has a SPF, but with as good as my skin looks these days I’ve been skipping it!  I need to find a good lightweight SPF soon…any suggestions?

The best part of all these skin shenanigans is that my face loves me, every day is a good skin day!  I have always had oily skin, but NO MORE!  My skin is clear, my pores smaller and no more oil slicks across my face!!   Hence my burning desire to share the love with all of you!

Ponds Cleansing Cloths + Apple Cider Vinegar Astringent + Coconut Oil = Beautiful Skin

Do you have any beauty secrets to share?  My hair is a mess, would love some hair tips!

(Just so you know, I don’t advocate throwing stones at birds)

Last week I attended my first session of a 10 week long writing workshop and our first assignment was to write a 10-point Manifesto…beliefs we hold to be true.  Since this here blog needs some updating I thought I would share it with you.

1. If you don’t take yourself seriously, no one else will

2. There is no such thing as too much compassion, for yourself or others.

3. You can choose your future, don’t muddy it by dragging your past into it.

4. Honesty is underrated.  Be honest with yourself and others.

5. Notice the small moments of joy; because they will sustain you through the dark times.

6. When you know better- you do better.  Cut yourself some slack.

7. While the world may seem very black and white, it is really composed of many different shades of grey.

8. If you want others to recognize the growth in you, you must be willing to recognize it in others.

9. Feeling emotions (good & bad) is what makes you human.  Denying them will make you crazy.

10. Tomorrow is always a new day.

After everyone wrote their manifesto we read them aloud. Another woman in the group said something that I really liked and would like to add as my number eleven.

11.  You don’t know another persons reality, so tread lightly.

I would love to hear what would be on your manifesto, if you blog one will you post the link in my comments so I can read it?  The best part of doing this exercise was hearing what everyone else believed. Here is Amy’s (my friend and also instructor).  I would love to read yours!

27 years ago, my Grandmother & Great Grandmother returned from a trip to the Orient. They brought back photos of them dressed in traditional Japanese kimonos (a photo that sat admired in our Living Room for years) and dresses for all the Granddaughters (I’m sure they brought something for the Grandson’s too, but I didn’t have any brothers so I don’t know).  My dress was a soft pale yellow and cream, with ruffles, smocking and beautiful flowers embroidered on the front.  I was in heaven!  All of us granddaughters had variations of the same dress, my sister’s was shades of blue and I’ve seen the pictures of my cousins looking much like my sister and I.

Through the many moves my mother has made over the years, each one meaning more boxes being shipped to my house.  In one box I found the dresses.  My sister has no children so my mother thought to send them both to me.  A few years back my daughter wore her aunts dress, which was sweet.  Today, she wore my dress, which was even sweeter.

I showed her a picture of Aunt Sara and I wearing our dresses:

Then I took a picture of her.

Thanks Mom, for hanging on to the dresses so they could be enjoyed by another generation….

In about 20 years time I figure you will be sitting on a therapists couch pouring out all the injustices your father and I  ever metered out to you.  About the time we told you to read a book instead of letting you play video games hindered your greater understanding of the gaming world and therefore held you back from your one true profession as a gaming programmer.  Or maybe it was the time we told you that no matter how cute, hip or “hot” you looked, that it was only over my dead body that you would be wearing that outfit out of the house; that caused your sense of self to be stifled.  Whatever it was, I am sure it was our fault.

Before you start lamenting the injustices there are some things I want you to know.  I want you to understand the all encompassing, ferocious love I have for you.  There are times when my whole being aches with love and concern for you.  Do you know how many tears I shed while wrestling your future with my own, sometimes inadequate, abilities?  The intensity with which I felt your futures weighing heavily on my chest.  How sometimes I would look at you and see my own weaknesses reflected back and cry with my whole soul wondering how I could help you avoid the pitfalls I was sure would come?

I won’t apologize for my weaknesses, because they are what help me grow.  I hope that I have taught you that we all have inadequacies and through them we learn more about ourselves and how to become stronger.

One day you will have your own children (unless we really screwed you up); I hope as you raise them you will gain a greater understanding of all that your father and I did -and sacrificed- for you.  That you will feel the weight of your children’s children as you move forward each day.  That maybe, just maybe, your heart will soften and you will recognize that it had to be, to become the wonderful person you are today.

With all my love,

Your Mother

It is amazing what you can accomplish or rationalize when you are procrastinating something you don’t really want to do.  Some scenes from my Wednesday.

My favorite place to read in the house.  The chair isn’t all that comfy, but I love reading with my feet on the footstool in the afternoon sun.  I totally get why cats sleep in the sun!

My “new” lamp came in the mail!  My grandmother was downsizing and I claimed this lamp, she graciously sent it to me and it arrived without any damage (kudos USPS!)  It lacks a shade…in honor of full disclosure I will tell you that never in my 34 years of life have I ever owned a lamp that needed a shade (well, except for my daughters irmi lamp).  So….any suggestions on how and where to buy a lamp shade?!

I usually eat lunch out and about or pick up some frozen thing to reheat.  I hate making lunch.  Sandwiches (unless they come from SACKS) do not appeal to me.  But, something came over me and I put the effort in to make lunch for one (procrastination).  Hot lunch at that!

My Thursday was a bit better on actually working towards completing the project I am procrastinating.  When I wasn’t sucked into Pinterest I mean!

This is what happens when you let an almost seven year old pick out the pattern, fabric and trim for her Christmas dress.

It begins to look more  like something meant for a stage production of “King Lear” than for a Christmas church service.  BUT, she loves it; so I guess its all good.

(she wouldn’t smile, she’s was upset that I made her step away from an episode of Curious George!)

So Sunday evening I decided that with family coming for Christmas my daughter needed a special dress to wear.  The budget being as tight as it is, I thought I would make her a dress…thinking if I went with a simple dress I could get fabric for about $10 (with coupons) and all would be well.  Monday morning we headed out to look for fabric….but moaned and moaned over the fact that I would spend the rest of the day sewing the dress and how I didn’t want to.  So, we took a detour to Goodwill in search of a used x-mas dress.  No go.  On the way to the fabric store I got a call from Jaylee, I lamented to her about how I couldn’t find a dress and was going to have to make one.  She started laughing and told me that I was the only person that she knew that would determine if it couldn’t be found at Goodwill, that it must be handmade…as if I had no other options.  I saw her point and laughed at myself.  BUT, I was sure I could get the fabric for less than I could buy a dress at Old Navy (or this $40 one from the Gap).  Well, turns out this lovely Shakespearean dress cost about $28 to make a about 5 hours of my time.  NEXT YEAR I AM BUYING A DRESS, NEW!

To add insult to injury this pattern (Simplicity 2269) was a PAIN to sew.  It looked so simple.  I’ve been sewing for 20+years, but this pattern took the cake!  The yoke for the neck…the pattern pieces were a total nightmare to pin into place and get the fabric to lay flat (from the upper gathers).  The pieces also didn’t quite fit, I ended up cutting off about 2″ from the back neck yoke on either side, just to make it fit.  On a positive note, I do like the bubble sleeves and they were easy peasy to make.  Has anyone else tried this pattern, I would love to hear your review?